Coups & Comps!

Ugh. Just the word sends shivers up my spine. Okay, so I know coupons save people a lot of money, but they need to be burned. Permanently. It doesn’t help that my restaurant sends them out like we’re going bankrupt or something. Every server hates coupons (okay except for the one and ONLY reason we like them which is that they bring warm bodies into the restaurant) and I’ll tell you why.

For one, USUALLY people that use coupons are cheap. I know, not everyone, because I, myself enjoys a good coupon here and there. But seriously, it never fails, at least ONCE a shift, I will get a table that wants to know if they can use this expired coupon in conjunction to their other coupon when it clearly says ON the coupon “NOT VALID IN CONJUNCTION WITH ANY OTHER OFFER.” Like honestly, who tries to use expired coupons anyway!?!?!?! But of course, we are apart of corporate America so we take every measly little coupon you have. Heck, you could probably even SAY you had a coupon and lost it and we’d take your word for it! 

But think about it from a server’s perspective for a moment: You have a table of 4 adults, 2 couples. They each order a Coke to drink. Then they proceed to order the most expensive thing on the menu, let’s say, a rack of ribs. The bill is now around $90 before tax. Great! That’s already an $18 tip! After a wonderful meal, they decide to nibble on some dessert, bringing the grand total of the bill to a little over $100. With the great service you just gave them, you should easily rake in $20 just off this table. Awesome. Then they each hand you a “Buy one Premium Entrée, get one free, with the purchase of two beverages” coupon. You just got screwed. Well now their bill just got cheaper…to the tune of $40. So now instead of having a $100 check, their check is now around $50. So, you just lost $10 in tips. But wait, didn’t you still do $20 worth of work? You didn’t just get extra barbeque sauce for TWO racks of ribs, but FOUR.  You didn’t get extra napkins for TWO people, but FOUR people. I still have to clean off FOUR dishes from my table, not TWO. But yet, nine times out of ten, they will still tip you based on what the bill is after the comp is taken off.

This just recently ticked me off bad. We were doing this promotion for Veteran’s Day where the Veteran at the table received a free meal. I had a couple come in, they both ordered water, and then the girl (who was the veteran) ordered a meal and the boyfriend claimed “he wasn’t hungry” (well if that was the case, why did you take the fork out of your napkin??). After serving them both waters, refilling their waters, getting the desired condiment for the girl’s meal, I brought them their check which was obviously zero dollars, but I placed the check before the comp to the left, so they could see what the bill SHOULD have been (just in case they couldn’t do basic math or decided to order something without looking at the price—believe me it happens more often than I’d like to admit). Do you think they left me ANYTHING? Nope. Not a dime. Not even pocket change made it to the table. Didn’t I still SERVE them though? You see, somehow the tip always gets lost in the shuffle. 

And while we’re on the subject of how getting things taken off your bill screws your server over, here’s another common example. Your meal comes out and you hate it. Maybe you asked for no Cajun seasoning and there was Cajun seasoning on it. Maybe the cook undercooked your steak. Whatever the case is, I, as the server, take it back and get it fixed. Well our managers certainly won’t stand for a guest being upset, now will they!? You complain (because obviously me telling you I’m going to fix it wasn’t good enough) and like magic—POOF! The meal is no longer on your check. Now comes time to pay the bill. Your husbands pasta and your Sangria are still on the bill but the bill was brought down considerably by the lack of your meal, right? And now guess what? I get to suffer for it, because as we all know, you will leave the tip off of the total of the bill as it stands, although it was NOT MY FAULT for whatever problem you had with your steak, damn it! I still served it to you, took it back to get re-made, and then probably got you extra sides of this or that for it, so why am I getting the crappy end of the stick all of a sudden?? 

Lesson Learned: Coupons SUCK except for the people using them! Tip your server on what the check SHOULD have been! It’s usually only the difference of a couple of dollars!

If Only Compliments Paid the Bills...

Okay, so we’ve all been there right? We are doing an excellent job, on top of everything the table needs, they seem so appreciative…For once, the kitchen didn’t mess up their food or take too long, and to top it off, they’re not even using a coupon! Score! Then, as the cute little family is getting up to leave, whoever just paid you the bill leans in and says “Wow, you did such a great job! Thank you! You were the best waitress we’ve ever had!” And then, your stomach sinks.  Great. As you reluctantly walk over to the table you can already see the ten percent seething out of the check presenter. You open it up and sure enough is a nice crisp $5 bill, which would have been nice if their check wasn’t $50. 

It never fails, does it? For some reason, people have this cockamamie idea that if they TELL you how great you were, they don’t have to prove it in cash winnings. Why is that? Is that supposed to make me FEEL BETTER? That I just gave you awesome service and you loved it so much that you decided to leave me a crappy tip? Oh but wait, you TOLD me I was great, so that should be enough. Well, the last time I checked, that cute little tid bit you just shared with me, about how great I was, yeah that didn’t pay my electric bill.

Lesson learned: Verbal tip = No tip. 

P.S. To those particular customers who decide to pinch pennies by shorting your server the tip but telling them how great they were: Next time, specifically ask for a manager. I could hear I’m great all day long by my tables (which I usually do : ) but that doesn’t mean anything when I go tell my manager. They look at me and say “well, good for you!” However, when a guest takes the time to really go out of their way to let a member of management know how great a server is doing, management really takes that into consideration. Heck, at my restaurant, those people actually get a crowd that cheers for them in the kitchen with a bright shiny new pin :) And this applies whether you are going to leave a nice tip or a crappy one, really.  If your server did a great job, make sure the right people know!  THAT'S a verbal tip I can live with!

A Little Lesson in Math or Why I Love My Job!

Let’s first start off by addressing the number one question I get asked when I bitch about my job: “If it’s so bad, why don’t you go get a different job?” Hm. That’s REAL original. Thank you Captain Obvious! 

Let me break it down for you--all of you--why exactly I don’t get another job. It is the TIPS. Yes, it is true, I bitch about almost every crappy tip as if it is the first time I am receiving one...as if THIS time the perfect service I just gave should have mattered to THAT crappy tipper, when it has gone unnoticed by every crappy tipper before him. I know, I know, there are just CRAPPY TIPPERS out there and regardless of the service, they were going to tip you 10% from the beginning, so I should just get over it. Okay, well that is obviously really hard for me. 

Anyway, if anyone took a second to think about it, I obviously stay in the serving business because of the GOOD tippers, not the crappy ones! The good tippers more than make up for the bad ones, therefore I am still able to feed my children and lead a satisfying life (so far). In a single shift in season, if I manage to average 3 tables an hour, each table averages a $30 check, and each customer gives me a 20% tip, I just made $18 in an HOUR. That doesn’t even include my measly $4.23 per hour base pay! What job do you know of, that someone with no formal degree can make upwards of $15 an hour? This job is excellent, especially for someone going to school or someone who has a family to raise (or both, as in my case). I get cash every day and I make a decent wage per hour (after TIPS, let’s not forget about those…). And for those who are thinking "why do servers complain about their base pay being so low if they get such great tips all the time?", it doesn't happen ALL the time. Many times a table will sit there for an hour and a half, or two hours. So those two ladies who just spent 3 hours reminiscing over every detail of their childhood during their reunion at MY table, I got tipped $2.50 cents each, for a whopping $5 tip (which isn't all mine, by the way, but we'll get to that in a minute). Take that $5 and divide it by 3 hours, and my hourly rate just plummeted to about $1.67 per hour. Add in my $4.23 per hour, and that still only brings me to $5.90! But let me be clear about something: I am not here to bitch about tips. It sucks when it happens, but not because I won’t be able to pay my car payment, it sucks because I give 20% service, and therefore DESERVE a 20% tip. That is now the standard tip with the cost of living and inflation, so please, if you receive great service, leave a great, standard 20% tip. In season, I might be making $15-30 per hour, but off season, I might come into work and take two tables my whole 3 hour shift. OR, even better yet, I might be told that my section isn’t needed that night and have to drive home. So if you tip well all year round, it should all even itself out.

But let’s get to a better point. You don’t WANT me to find another job. Why? Well, if I did, who would fill this very important niche of the service industry? You see, you NEED people like me and my co-workers. Let’s visit dreamland for a minute where servers are paid minimum wage (which is the blanket solution everyone who opposes mandatory tips, suggests). Now, I am getting paid $7.25 per hour (which I get taxed on). What was that you needed sir? A side of mayo for your burger? I’ll be right back—oh wait, now you, miss, at the other table, what do you need? Oh, an extra fork because the food runner took your other one? No problem! Oh wait, before I even make it to the kitchen, you, sir at yet ANOTHER table need what? Oh a new bottle of ketchup because the mother that sat at that table before you let her 2 year old squeeze the entire bottle onto the table for his French fries? Sure, I’ll be right back! Now, those three items are now in very different places in the restaurant. What is my incentive to make sure I get them back to you, promptly? If you recall, the origin of the term “TIPS” comes from the acronym “To Insure Prompt Service”. That, my dear friend, is what keeps me going when you have to run my rear end all OVER the restaurant! My TIP! I will go to the ends of the earth if I think you will give me my 20%. 

But regardless, if I was getting paid $7.25 per hour, and the hostess (who also receives part of MY TIPS) was getting paid $7.25 per hour and the busser (we don’t currently have one at my restaurant, but at my last one we did) was getting paid $7.25 per hour, and the service bartender who makes your drinks (who also receives part of MY TIPS) was getting paid $7.25 per hour, and the food runner who brings the food to your table (and also gets part of MY TIPS) was getting $7.25 per hour, HOW MUCH WOULD YOUR FOOD COST? 

The restaurant has developed this genius way of doing things, where they pay these employees a low base rate (my friend in North Carolina is a server and the minimum wage for tipped employees there is still $2.13!!! In 2010!!), and have the customers compensate for the rest of their wage. The way it works is that the servers get to pay the other employees part of the same money that customer just gave them! But wait, there’s more! Not only are these other employees (the hostess, busser, food runner and service bartender) getting paid by the servers, but THEIR pay comes directly out of the server’s tips before they even see it, no matter if they actually helped the servers or not (i.e. I run my own food or the customers never order drinks for the bartender to have to make). But wait, there’s MORE! Not only is their tip automatic and comes out of my pocket, but their “tips” are based on the total of the BILL not the total of the TIP! So, for a very frequent example, I have a party of 7 sit in my section (don’t you just LOVE the 7 tops? 1 short of gratuity—is that a coincidence? I think not!) and their bill comes to $100, which averages just a little under $15 per person. Let’s also say that this party does not tip very well, and leaves me $10 (a 10% tip). Now, let’s assume that the hostess was smoking a cigarette when the party came in and I sat them myself. Then let’s assume that I had a friend of mine help me run the food to the table when it was ready. Let’s also assume that nobody at the party drank any alcohol, therefore I got all the drinks myself. Automatically, I am tipping out 3% of the bill (which is $3 of that $10 tip) to people that didn’t even do anything. Now I get to keep $7. But let’s not forget at the end of my night, I also claim my tips, which then get taxed by the government (about 20 cents per dollar gets taken out) so that $7 tip just turned into a $5 tip. So, for making sure that all 7 people have full drinks, get exactly what they ordered (in a swift period of time) and that they remain happy and get every side order of whatever they want, extra napkins, boxes, and bags FOR their boxes, I get $5. That may not seem so bad, but remember, I also have 2 other tables, according to my previous example, right? So not only am I waiting on these 7 people but between my other two tables I probably easily have anywhere from 4 to 8 other guests as well that I am supposed to be giving equally great service to. 

Do you understand how difficult this is??!! So how does it all balance out? Tips. It’s my motivation. What is the motivation of the barber to make sure he does not cut a huge bald spot on your head by accident? What is the valet driver’s motivation to make sure he doesn’t knick your Beemer? Well, probably a lot of motivating factors there but tips sure don’t hurt!

 I am not asking you, as the customer, to fix the service industry, I am asking you to sympathize and understand that servers are people too and that there are things you don’t know that go on! Not every restaurant is run the same as mine, but here’s a thought: next time, ask your server how the tips are split up. I am simply asking you, Mr. or Mrs. Customer, to take an active role in boosting this economy and get your head out of you-know-where with this “servers should be grateful to serve me” BS! I hope these same pretentious people do not treat the person who dry cleans their clothes and trims their hair the same way! Just understand that I am grateful for my job, my EXCELLENT job at that, but I am thankful for the rate per hour I get paid AFTER tips and do not know many people that would be so grateful to be making $4.23 cents per hour so TIP YOUR SERVER DAMN IT!